WEAPONS
- Major characters never run out of ammunition, nor do they ever have to reload. (If the movie does make them reload, they never have to actually carry any spare ammo until that scene) Worse when it’s a person with a six shot revolver in a Western (Open Range).
- Henchmen (even elite types) can not hit the broad side of the barn but hero is a sharp shooter.
- Assassins will always wait ‘till the very last moment to assemble their complex sniper weapon (often a pistol the size of a rifle).
- Guy points gun at person, makes threat. When doesn’t receive response he wants, cocks gun. See, now he’s serious.
- A character is given something of significance and places it in the shirt pocket over their heart; it will stop a bullet from killing him. Photos of loved ones, religious medals, and bibles can stop bullets better than a bullet proof vest.
- If your black, you must hold your gun sideways and you must gesticulate with it to prove your tough.
- The first shot or burst of fire from a bad guy always misses, and is there just to announce that a fight will be taking place.
- Bad-guy hand grenades make noise and smoke, but no real damage; good-guy hand grenades are devastating but selective; they will destroy tanks, but won’t hurt the thrower, even if he drops one on his toe. Bad-guy grenades used by good guys become good-guy grenades, and vice versa.
- When the villain runs out of bullets, he’ll throw away his gun. When the hero does so, he’ll conveniently come across another.
- Machine guns submerged underwater for a long time won’t jam or misfire when the hero pops up to use them. (see any Rambo movie)
- When people aim a rifle with binocular-sight at someone on a very long distance, they manage to keep them in the bull’s-eye all the time even if they move around.
- The good guy will appear to be shot, perhaps dozens of times. He will fall down, and presumably be dead, but will later miraculously turn out to have had the foresight to wear a bulletproof vest, armor plating, or even a silver tray to protect his torso (Batman). No one will ever shoot him in the head, where he is unprotected. Afterwards, instead of learning from his extremely good fortune, he reveals/removes his protection, confident that the same situation cannot recur in his movie.
- When superheroes like Batman or Robocop use high technology to protect themselves, the bad guys never take advantage of obvious weaknesses, such as no face protection.
- Characters use silencers on revolvers… and it works.
- In 50% of action movies made after 1988, “Teflon Coated Cop Killer Bullets” will be referred to.
- Characters do not value their guns. When they run out of bullets they just throw them away.
- No movie character will ever use or refer to a safety on any firearm.
- No movie character will ever use a .22-caliber weapon.
- The cowboy who exchanges a dozen shots with the bad guys without hitting one will nevertheless be able to hit and detonate a stick of dynamite from 150 feet away with a revolver on the first try.
- Once a character has flipped up the long range site on his rifle, he will always make his next shot.
- Bullets removed from shooting victims and displayed to the camera will not be misshapen in any way from the impact – and will sometimes even still have the casing attached.
- Shots fired at the rear of a vehicle will cause the gas tank to explode.
- Shots fired at windshields never deflect; they always penetrate and hit the bad guy in the forehead. If the good guy is driving, he’ll simply have to duck a little to avoid them.
- Shots fired at guys hiding around corners never whiz past; they always strike the edge of the building near the character’s face.
- Shots fired in Westerns that do not hit a character always ricochet loudly.
- If there is a trough of water present in a Western gunfight scene, at least one shot will splash spectacularly in the water.
- Western characters are never shot in the legs while hiding behind wagons.
- No gun will ever jam or misfire after a quick-draw.
- In a duel or in a gunfight between two characters standing in a street, at least one character is always hit on the first exchange of gunfire.
- Shurrikens and thrown knives never miss, (pinning a character’s clothing to a wall or tree not withstanding).
- Horses are never wounded in horseback gunfights.
- Even weapons experts will freeze when confronted with a weapon which is not in firing condition-ie an un-cocked single action revolver or a submachine gun with its breech closed (also un-cocked). The person holding the gun must make several moves to fire the gun, and the adversary could just reach out and take the weapon, but the dope just freezes even though often it is obvious that the cylinder is devoid of any ammo.
- Movie gunmen never lock and load their weapons when anticipating a life-or-death confrontation. Oh they have their weapons drawn, but not charged with a round in the chamber. They usually (always when carrying a pump-action shotgun) wait until they confront their quarry to slam a round into the chamber with a dramatic ca-chunking noise.
- Bullets, even though they are only pieces of lead-sometimes encased in copper, always make little explosions when they strike any kind of inanimate object.
- All sub machine guns sound alike and have the same rate of fire
- If you are a cowboy, aiming your rifle while using your horse as a support will always assure a first round hit.
- All automatic weapons must be cocked in order to be fired, but bolt action weapons can fire two or three times without being cocked!
- You can never un-jam a weapon by just pulling back the bolt and rechambering another round, ‘though that will work 99 times out of 100 in real life.
- If you need a gun in an American house, you’ll find it in a shoe box, under a sweater on the top shelf of the closet.
- Big dramatic moment when one character is going to shoot/kill another but when they pull the trigger the gun goes click and some frantic hand to hand fight or chase ensues. This usually happens after some sort of speech that reveals some important information.
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